In African cultures, parents have traditionally been viewed as the central figures in holding families together. They are the bedrock of support, guidance, and nurturing for their children, ensuring the stability of the family unit. However, a fascinating trend has emerged within many African households: the perceived prioritization of daughters over sons, especially in the context of grandchildren.

For many African families, daughters are often seen as the emotional core of the household. This preference extends beyond the relationship with their daughters to their grandchildren as well. In many cases, grandparents view their daughter’s children as more closely tied to the family than those of their sons. This leads to a dynamic where grandsons and granddaughters from daughters receive more care and attention, while those from sons may feel somewhat overlooked.

This pattern of affection is not universally applied, but it is a phenomenon seen in a majority of families across the African continent. A minority of parents, however, manage to balance their love and care for the children of both their sons and daughters equally. These parents challenge the traditional mindset, recognizing that grandchildren, regardless of their lineage, deserve equal love and support.

One widely held belief in certain parts of Black African society is that “your son’s children are not your family.” This cultural notion stems from complex social norms and familial structures that prioritize the maternal side of the family. However, this belief raises a crucial question: Is a son not your child, and are his children not of your own bloodline?

The most things that hurts me is that they will only need their grandchildren’s from their son once they are grow up because they want them to work for them and forgetting that they don’t consider them as they are part of their family.

This line of thinking challenges deep-rooted assumptions about lineage, family, and inheritance. While the daughter’s children are often seen as more intimately connected to the family, the son’s children are sometimes regarded as distant, despite sharing the same genetic ties. This is what is causing separations in most of family’s in Africa.

As a parent if you are not treating your grandchildren equally, are you expecting your grandchildren to help each other as family in good or difficulties one day according to the treat you are giving them?

This dynamic within African families opens a wider discussion about the importance of treating all grandchildren equally, regardless of their maternal or paternal ties. It underscores the need to challenge traditional biases and recognize that family bonds extend equally through both sons and daughters.

At the heart of this issue is the role of parents in shaping the family’s future. While societal norms may influence behavior, it is ultimately the parents who define the family structure. By valuing and nurturing relationships with all their children and grandchildren, they can ensure a more harmonious and inclusive family environment—one where love and support are not bound by gender or lineage.